Soup Of The Day: With Mythpunk Author Amy Kuivalainen

The Curious Adventures Of Messrs Smith And Skarry

Hello! Mrs Albert Baker here, otherwise known as The Last Witch Of Pendle. Obviously there is no Pendle any more, since The Chronic Agronauts utterly destroyed it with treacle and sprats, but I’ve set myself up quite nicely here in Lancaster, running this little soup kitchen for the street urchins. There certainly are a lot of them and I’m always looking for helping hands to cook up and serve something delicious!

Helping me this morning is author Amy Kuivalainen! Good morning Amy, thank you so much for coming to help me in my soup kitchen today! Can I take your parasol?

Absolutely, but do be careful…it bites. Lovely to be here with you today.

Oh! My goodness, what a disturbingly sentient promenadial accessory – although I imagine it comes in extremely useful! How was your journey here from your own dimension? I hope you were not waylaid by any skywaymen…

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Free Easter Story – Gethsemane

The second story I’d like to share this month is called Gethsemane.

I’m a big fan of retellings of myths and gods and while I hate to use trigger warnings for my works this is a special case; if you think a retelling of a Judeo-Christo story is going to offend you, this is your queue to bow out. If you have strong feelings about any religion, that’s great but this is not the place for you to share them. This is a place for story telling which is what I believe in.

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For those still with me this story was born out of a university assignment. I grew up with Bible Stories, and my favourites were the often obscure ones that weren’t really for ‘children’…these were the epic battles between angels and demons and pissed off prophets calling down fire. These are still my favourites to be honest and I look forward to doing retellings of them in the future.

One thing I have gotten frustrated with over the years is this constant need to redo the cruxification story. Yeshua-Jesus  to the West- did so many amazing, kick ass things in his life and yet it’s his murder that people want to keep retelling? Yes, it was horrific. Yes, it was unjust. Yes, to some it is a symbol of a covenant fulfilled. But people want to keep putting him back on the cross when it played a rather small part in his whole story. Perhaps this is why the stunning Anne Rice has had such a response to her Christ the Lord series, because it takes him down off that thing and shows him for what he was – a human.

97800994601699780099484189Whether you believe he was divine or not is irrelevant. Yeshua was a real person, there is non-Christian texts to prove it (Flavius Josephus,  Tacitus and Suetonius). He lived and breathed and taught and died. He was a guy who got up and worked the tough job of Near Eastern carpentry in a time of unrest in his country. He was a rebel of the times, one who taught love and tolerance to all races, sexes and religions. Don’t believe what the haters say. That was what he was teaching, anyone who says otherwise isn’t reading the message properly (I suggest trying here, here ,here and oh here). He was an amazing guy all things considered and yet it’s his death people want to focus on.

Yeshua

To me, his death isn’t even the most incredible thing about the crucifixion. Yeshua knew he was going to die and warned his followers about it on more than one occasion. On the night of his arrest he prayed that God (Elyon) would change his mind because he was afraid and didn’t want to have to do it (such a freaking human thing to do)..he prayed so hard that he sweated blood (gnarly as).

The thing that speaks the most to me is that even though he was afraid he still sucked it up and went to his death. That’s courage at its purest form. He died for what he believed in, he believed it so much he even healed the jerks that had come to kill him (I wouldn’t have been that nice).

This story is seen through the archangel Michael, a figure that I am writing a book about, who would’ve had to stand by and let it all play out. For those interested I’ve used The Tree of Life Messianic Bible as my primary source because its translation from historical texts is hardcore and being a research nut I like using the traditional names and titles of things.

I hope you all have a safe and happy Easter!

Find it here: Gethsemane.

Free Stories- Bookstore Baker

This month I’m going to do things a little differently and put two short stories up under my Free Stories page.

This is the first and it’s a mock fairytale called Book Store Baker.

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I have a thing with liking book stores to be quiet so I’m really not impressed when parents let their kids run about and terrorise the place.

This story was born out of a particularly bad trip to a bookstore. At the time I was reading a lot of fairy tales about Baba Yaga and her penchant for eating children. I started to see why she would find the idea appealing when I watched a child have a tantrum and destroy a bunch of books much to the dismay of the poor staff. Then I started to wonder how Baba could get away with it now….and this story was born.

I hope you enjoy it. Find it here:  Bookstore Baker